Day: June 3, 2015

Over the last 15 years, I have learned a lot about being an entrepreneur, and a lot about being in a relationship. I have also made a lot of mistakes, and am certainly no expert in either area of life. I plan to continue learning and improving in both areas, for the rest of my life and I love the process. So I hope this does not come across as too contrived or business minded, but I have found a lot of value to the life lessons we can learn and apply to both areas (entrepreneurship and relationships). I would like to explore this topic… and maybe we can all learn a little together.

Over Communication
In order to build any successful relationship the value of communicating a lot can never be over-rated. Good communication can solve almost any issue between two people, and turn what seems to be a problem into an opportunity for an even better solution. Often times when working through a tough situation, or when you are first building a relationship with a business partner, friend, or lover it is extremely valuable to go above-and-beyond in your efforts to communicate. Better to over communicate then to under communicate.

Building Trust
You have to trust in any relationship in order for it to work. You must stand by your word and be an open book. As an entrepreneur you are building ideas into projects and companies with some pretty serious risk involved. It is often the difference between being homeless and being rich. Sometimes it is your money, and other times it is other peoples money. But no matter what, it can be very scary and it always takes a lot of time. Without trust between you and your partners, you and your investors, you and your clients… there is nothing.

In relationships, in order for it to work you have to be vulnerable and allow yourself to love someone else. What can be even harder is allowing that person to love you. It is fucking scary. We have to believe in the best and we have to trust. Prove to that person that you are trustworthy, and have faith that they will reciprocate that. Trust and real love, go hand-in-hand.

Building a Foundation
Communication and Trust are important parts to building a solid foundation. If you want something to last, no matter what it is really, you have to make sure that you have laid out the ground work for it to hold up during the great times and support you during the tough times. It sounds obvious, and on paper it is, but we see ourselves or other people skipping steps and avoiding the uncomfortable parts all the time.

We want things to be easy and fun, and they should be. However nothing great was ever easy. There is no “Get Rich Quick” formula that is sustainable. If you stay on the service level in a relationship, it will be fun for a while, but as soon as something tough comes around, if you have not put in the time and energy to build trust, respect, and love then everything will fall apart. A building never stays standing if the engineers or construction workers cut corners to save time and/or money and built a mediocre foundation. What makes you think that you can skip the tough work in a new business venture or a relationship and have positive results?

Building a foundation is about the hard work you have to put it. A phrase my first real business mentor always said sums it up perfectly, “If it was easy, everyone would do it.” Let me remind you that it is not easy, but that is what makes it so rewarding when we succeed.

Compatibility
Being compatible with your business partner’s is so so similar to being compatible in a relationship. Other then some very obvious difference, mostly having to do with the fact that relationships are sexual and physical and business partnerships are platonic, they both take a lot of time and commitment. So it is pretty paramount that you are compatible.

As defined, The state of being compatible; in which two or more things are able to exist or perform together in combination without problems or conflict. For there to be no problems or conflict sounds a little impossible, and it probably is,  so the way I look at this is how you handle and deal with these times. There will always be difficult times that arise, but if you want to get through them successfully and come out on the other side as a stronger person, you want to have someone who you work well with by your side. Problems and conflicts will arise, and if you are not compatible with your business partner’s or your relationship partner, then most likely the same end results will occur. Be picky, and look for people that you work great with.

Be Consistent and Show Up
People want to build partnerships and relationships with people who show up, and show up consistently. If you put effort into a new idea, and the people you have chosen to build that idea with, then you must be able to depend on them to get their work down. It usually takes a long time to take an idea and turn it into a thriving business. A lot of long days and long nights. If your partners decide to skip out on an important meeting or an all night session to meet a deadline, then how can you expect that behavior to be any different the next time something important comes up? Work with people who are committed to being there day in and day out.

In relationships, it is pretty much the same thing. A true test of your compatibility can be when things go wrong, or when you are tested by an uncomfortable situation like meeting the family or traveling together for the first time. In order for the relationship to work you both have to show up and be there for each other. Love is not conditional. You gotta make that person a priority and prove to them that when times are tough you will be there for them. It is also equally important to be there for them when it is time to celebrate !!!

Bringing out the Best
If you have found yourself in a situation where all the above things have come together then you will most likely be in a situation where you are bringing out the best in your love relationship or business partnership. And vis versa. Same goes for friendships, but we compromise this all the time.

I never want to be in a relationship or building a business, and not be able to inspire and bring out the best in everyone. I try to be the best possible version of myself and always be there to support and encourage the people I spend time with. In exchange, guess what usually happens? That’s right, they inspire and bring out the best in me. And if they don’t, well then I politely step away from the situation and free myself up for other opportunities. The world gives you what you ask for. As they say, “Life is too short to have shitty friends.” Look for people who inspire you, and look for people you can inspire. When you combine both, BAM !!!

You Must Be Inspired
Which leads us into our next item. You MUST be inspired. My favorite people in life, be it family, friends, business partners, or relationships are the ones that inspire me. It does not have to happen every day, however there should be a type of energy and excitement that happens when you spend time together. Sometimes inspiration can happen by giving each other the space and permission to sit together in a mountain cabin and read for hours on end without sharing more then a couple words. Sometimes that inspiration comes from a shared phone conversation after not talking for a week… you start bouncing ideas and experiences off each other, and trigger those moments in life where something new clicks for you, and you say YES !!! Other times, it is when you see someone you love or work with follow their dreams, and during that process they fall, but then they get back up and start taking mini steps in the right direction.

Live a life of inspiration. You do your best work and put the best version of yourself forward when you are inspired. And when you realize that by working together you can raise the level of the water for everyone, anything is possible.

Scarcity is King
I think there is a lot of value in being very selective with who you choose to have in your life. In my own personal life, as well as my business ventures (Unfiltered, Ruckus, and LongTails) I care way more about building deep, as opposed to building broad. And what I mean by that, is quality over quantity… Every time. We only have so much time in this life, and every moment is precious. We also only have so much energy. If you are constantly chasing shinny things, then you will find that you are using up all your energy and you will still be in the same place.

For the last ten years I have been perfecting my time management habits. This year I made a major shift into starting a journey into what it meant to be hyper-effective at energy management. What are the projects I want to put energy into, and who are the people I want to put energy into? If I have 24 hours in each day, how much energy do I have in each day? Also learning about what refuels that energy is just as important. But I encourage us all to be selective and intentional.

If you think I missed anything at all, I would love your feedback and/or contributions. This is an ever going process of learning and exploring. And if you ever want to be part of that process with us at Unfiltered, hit us up.

– Rustin

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